Ashley "Ash" Cooper's Diary..

Cover
''Please do not read. I don't read your diary, so don't read mine. ''

Page One
''I had came back from school. It was an exhausting day. ''

Me: Hello.

Mom: Hi, sweetie. How was school?

Me: It was okay, I guess.

Mom: Your father's in the garden.

Me: Like he always is.

Mom: He's decorating it by planting loads of seeds. The flowers are going to be so beautiful!

Me: We live next to a meadow. We get flowers there, so what's the point?

Mom: We could have more flowers! Now who doesn't like flowers?

Me: People who have pollen allergies.

Mom: Yes, of course. But you're not allergic to pollen.

Me: But I am allergic to carrots, remember?

Mom: Yes. That's why I ask your father not to grow carrots.

''We live in a caravan near a meadow. It's a beautiful place - and it's like the country side!''

Page Two
''Had such a rough night. I had been drinking too much milk before bed, and my head is spinning. ''

Me: Morning.

Dad: What's the matter? You look like you just had a hangover.

Me: I don't do alcohol .. or any other types of drugs.

Mom: We know, dear. Have you had a nightmare?

Me: No. Just had too much milk before bed.

Mom: Now why were you drinking milk before bed?

Me: I wanted to stay awake to play Mario .. but I fell asleep. I was very nausous.

Dad: You should go back to bed.

Mom: He's got school today! He hasn't been absent for quite some time.

Me: No ... he's right. I need to go back to bed.

Mom: How sick are you?

Me: A little. My stomach hurts.

''I was forced to go to school and I had been sick in Maths - all over my Maths book. I had to buy a new one. ''

Page Three
''I had an attempt at not drinking so much last night, and I was feeling much better. No bags under my eyes, and my head was alright. ''

Dad: You seem very well.

Me: Yup. I'm cured.

Mom: Do you want pancakes?

Me: As long as it has syrup on it, then yes.

Mom: Coming right up!

Dad: It's nice feeling well isn't it, Ashley?

Me: Sure thing. Just call me Ash. I feel like a girl when you call me Ashley.

Dad: Well .. when you were born, your mother named you Ashley because you looked like a baby girl.

Me: Harsh!

Dad: We didn't know until we potty - trained you that you were a boy.

Mom: Here you go, dear. Tuck in, but don't eat quickly. You'll be sick again.

Me: I know.

''I went to school after my small breakfast, and today was a much better day. ''

Page Four
''I'm at school at the moment, carrying my di - I mean journal ... like a complete idiot. ''

Manny: Hello little girl.

Me: Excuse me?

Manny: Writing in your journal, eh? That's for girls!

Me: FYI, I am not a girl!

Manny: You are, you just don't like being one.

''He then walks off, but I grab his arm. ''

Me: HEY BUB. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH DRAMA HAS BEEN GOING ON IN MY LIFE, SO I SUGGEST YOU TAKE A HINT. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE, AND NEVER COME BACK!

Manny: Oh, as if I'm offended!

Me: LISTEN HERE, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE BUT I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S A GIRL. YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR HORMONES THAT'S ALL.

''I sure told him. ''

Page Five
''I came back from school after that extremely long rant. I had never gone that far before in public. ''

Me: I'm feeling very happy!

Mom: That's good!

Me: Wanna know why? I stuck up for myself and showed Manny who's boss.

Dad: Good on ya' Ash, my boy tough as nails.

Mom: I'm proud of you, but what did you say to him? I hope it wasn't too offensive.

Me: I told him not to pick on everybody and too control his anger more often.

Mom: At least you didn't say anything too horrific. Did you offend him?

Me: He was pretending he didn't care.

UNFINISHED...